Team

Harty

Rather thirsty and enjoys chopped chilli in soy sauce when available. General know-it-all or at least much more than International Pauly. Enduro rider turned web guru turned radio star. Took five years for the team to beat the North Sydney snobbery out of him. Resides: 200m past the end of Brabham Straight. Frequently Flyer Status: Gold. Habits: Looking after the “Supreme Being” – Rust the sausage dog. Status: Happily single and possibly available.

JP / ChayPee

Not good with AppleCare agreements but a true BBQ specialist. A pommy git with no love of the old land. Likes to hold on to redundant waterside properties. Resides: Half way to friggin’ McLaren Vale which makes it a “waterbag trip” Frequent Flyer Status: Just slightly silver Habits: Inhales mega-schnitzels regularly and always with wierd sauces. Showers his new Missus’ with merlot. Three beers after work at the local. Hates customers. Status: Recently, generally not allowed out.

The Foges / Le Fogeaux

A unknown tennis star but honest about it. Knows V8 Supercars a touch. Writes likes a thesaurus which can cause problems for some motor racing enthusiasts. Generally last to pay for dinner. Terrible until about 2pm. Happy to get female referrals and follow through. Eloquent, despite the apparent love of bright shiny pit-hottie dresses. Has the ability to access all areas worldwide and loving it. Finally understands Sportscar Racing such as Le Mans. Frequent Flyer Status: Banned from club after napkin theft. Habits: Selfishness. Status: Busy being snobbish

Rust

Used to be Audrey Hepburn. Talks a lot. Extremely friendly except with people who collect bottles for refund (SA only) Misses her King Charles Cavalier friends Amber & Sabrina. Hates Flies and Zizzers. Loves Chicken in any form. Snaps at uniforms. Resides: with Harty. Frequent Flyer Status: Sworn to never fly. Habits: Big Ted & Armi(dillo). Status: Upitty with other girls around.

International Pauly

Left the country ten years ago and we keep kicking him back out everytime he visits. Doesn’t like sharing a high speed line – especially at Le Mans, not that we have to anymore since wireless arrived. Resides: Atlanta, Georgia and various Qantas Club lounges around globe. Frequently Flyer Status: Beyond Platinum. Habits: Electronic toys, red wine, Jasmins Indian, collecting Frequent Flyer miles & passport stamps. Annoying Brabs for new gigs and spiritual advice. Status: Married to Jen with one small child called Cooper who reminds him of Adelaide beer.

Jeza

Stickier than Golden Syrup is The Jeza, who after slightly de-boganing himself, became the first Radio HOTLAP viewer allowed on an episode safari. Good behaviour at the 2011 Bathurst 12 Hour led to Classic Targa Adelaide and now onto a four day tour at THE Clipsal. Perfect packaging and on-time delivery ensures his retention in the 200′s. EPS/PDF friendly. Responsible for all RH decals, worldwide. Likes annoying Grumpy Greg. Resides: BrisVegas. Frequent Flyer Status: Commissionaire’s Club. Status: Flying with Stella Airways.

The Z Man

Just a good guy he is, the Z-Man. Taking a year off to count the money. Resides: Melbourne. Frequently Flyer Status: Minimal. Habits: Turns up to race in his old favourite categories for a single meeting and demoralises everyone by winning. Status: Resigning to be a RH regular comedian with a major tech future after winning recognition from Apple.

Danger Dane

When he’s not stabbing himself half to death or trapped in a coal mine, Danger Dane is a bit handy with Adobe Illustrator. With a penchant for gothic type and dark colours, it’s quite a relief that his race car livery design is so ‘not down that path’ and as good as the top designers in Australia. Whilst nowhere near the level of Dr. Aper, who has recently been re-banned after more overly righteousness and anti-Apple sentiment, Danger is taking on advanced sarcasm lessons, which is in-line with our communications policy, to improve compatibility.

Dr. Aper (re-banned)

It’s just unwriteable, really. And he’s been re-banned. Here’s a guy who hates the Apple culture and NOW he’s bought an iPhone. OK, so we let him back, since he got a regular root. So much more settled he is now, we feel. Cavair, the Sturgeon spoof, is his downfall, along with slim, tall, tight, Russian brides. Bloody spam – he has been getting lots lately! Resides: Adelaide Hills, which he says, is alive with the Sound of (Russian) Music. Cossack anyone? Frequently Flyer Status: On the global ‘No-Fly’ list.

44

Now here is a Danish/Aussie enigma. Drops prepositions in sentences a lot which makes everyone think he is just plain rude. Loves the next race which is never far away. Resides: Odense, Denmark and most GT2 and GT3 cars Frequently Flyer Status: Outa-control. Habits: FaceBook, hassling Harty for more media and T8/Kelly Racing enduros. Status: Unsingle and has a huge opportunity as a comedian after his race car career is done but judging on his recent performances don’t expect that anytime soon!

Lars A Million

Richer than rich and hangs out with Danish royality. Takes plastic bottles down to store regularly for refunds (see pic). Resides: Vedbaek (Copenhagen), Denmark Frequently Flyer Status: Owns the Maldavian Airline! Habits: Sportcar racing, business and turning his daughter Christina into Euro go-kart star. Danish Grill Oil. Always buying gadgets. Had a spare Porsche 996 RSR so turned it into a sunken dining room table. Has THE best driving simulator setup in Blu-Ray. Status: Single, engaged, remarried, single, in trouble and worried about who’s next!

Jack “Keithy” Elsegood

Star NRL footballer turned motor racing driver. Stubborn but can be talked around with reason and logic. Generally paying out on Harty. Be worried if he calls you “Pal”. Loves a Coopers, natch. Not bad even at tarmac rallying despite having to listen to Harty. Resides: Narrabeen, NSW Frequently Flyer Status: Silver Habits: Late and messy. Only eats egg yolks, not the white. Always puts you on hold after he’s called when ordering a salad sandwich. Status: Previously single. Now Un-single. Not a single photo in existence without a girl nearby. Excludes podium shots.

Stonie

Rather adept at catching lost Sausage Dogs after losing them in the first place. A true lover of Victorian backroads and riesling trails. Handy with the quill and may just move onto a Wacom Tablet if they get their shit together. Happy to upset corporate antics, say no to Crusher and has sympathy for poor old Salmon R. Resides: Penfold Grange Road. Frequent Flyer Status: Via Dimboola. Status: Getting out more and more.

Grumpy Greg

Years of practice has ensured all conversations turn to talk about himself. Like leather jackets and doing dodgy car deals. Advertising savvy. Loves cucumber. Still checking on the 50c piece at Penisula Court. Resides: In a warehouse of luxury. Frequent Flyer Status: Bronze. Status: Turkish Delights.

Slippery George (most recently aka Mulga Bill)

As tall as the redwood forests of California. Has a good sense of humour. Following his father’s footsteps very well. Another highly versatile driver who pleases his sponsors. Resides: Difficult to explain, but an MBA is involved. Frequently Flyer Status: Plenty considering there’s a plane in the family. Habits: V8 Utes and selling race cars just in the absolute nick of time (eg) Carrera Cup Porsche. Status: A bit sneaky but gets tips from Ryal Harris.

The Prodrive Porcupines

 

A true pair of fruits. Mark – loves danger and laughter. Mick – enjoy process and proceedure. Regularly break their toys. Resides: Melbourne (separately) Frequently Flyer Status: Both Unknown Habits: Mark – scamming & hates Formula Ford. Mick – Not allowed out Saturdays . Status: Mark went overboard and married the girl on his Harley. Mick busy mowing lawns at Portsea when Mt Buller Sprint is on.

Meesta Chris

Once implicated in child pornography he was aquitted after they found out he was just at the park with his daughter. Bloody lawyers! Writes good code and can shoot (photos not guns) well but has no idea about design. Dunno how he puts up with all those various characters on his forum, V8 Central.com Maximum of two Bundy cans per night. Last to get media accreditation and has had to play an unsuspecting husband at Clipsal 500, once. Resides: Roseville, NSW Frequent Flyer Status: Pah – bloody Virgin flyer Status: LaserMaster but not a regular due to odd dinner behaviour.

Dalinda

Shoe fanatic with a love of fast scooters and iPod accesories. Can be calming at times. Always parks with valet service. Never in the country very long. Has 5 WRC events under her belt and split JR and Brocky at Targa Tas so she has no idea whats going on. Resides: Galston Gorge. Frequent Flyer Status: Kept her gold Habits: Deluxe Coffee and Gow Gees for breakfast. Status: Lounging out up the front somewhere 10 miles up. Not seen of late and she know damn well why.

Duncan Donuts

Antiques are his thing from spears to old Mercs. Many a fast Ferrari has he peddled. Throws his empty Melbourne bitter cans in anyones yard, with gay abandon. RSL friendly. Quite a large database of the old stuff. Resides: Adelaide. Habits: The Avenues 5pm happy hour. Status: scouring the world for the best EVOO (that’s oil).